God uses messed up people to do wonders!
You are not worst that anyone else! Nothing you've said or done in the past disqualifies you from receiving God's forgiveness, love, favour and blessings.
Over the years, as I continue deep study of God's infallible word - The Bible, I've come to notice that God had a habit of using the poor, rejected, hurt and belittled to do the greatest work for him. He seldom used the rich and elites. I guess he wanted to prove a point and wanted it to be recorded in the pages of HISTORY. Money never brings true happiness. Service to GOD and to others does!
Have you noticed?
Matthew was a tax collector hated by society!
Paul was a Christian persecutor!
Rahab was a whore!
Let's stop there and talk a little about Rahab the whore. Joshua, a commander in the army of God sent spies to have a look at the land of Jericho as he made plans to conquer. These spies lodged at Rahab's house. The leaders of Jericho learn of the outsiders and order Rahab to deliver them up. She sides with God's people and hides these spies.
Let's see her REWARD as a messed up lady who recognized how important it was to honour God, his leaders and his people. She is greatly rewarded for doing GOOD! Joshua 6:17 And the city shall be accursed, even it, and all that are therein, to the LORD: only Rahab the harlot shall live, she and all that are with her in the house, because she hid the messengers that we sent
Yes, God does use messed up people to do great and mighty things. They also can do WONDERS once they humble, repent and choose to allow GOD to be ruler and master of their life and follow his son Jesus' example of LOVE FOR ALL and SERVICE TO OTHERS.
You are certainly not too messed up for God to use. Hope is ahead for you!